idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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