So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
