Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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