I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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