if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
