So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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