she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Best friends brother. Beat that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
