So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
