i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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