Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
