im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize