so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
