Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
