You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It was confusing and full of hummus
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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