I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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