I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
