White coat. Heels.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
