you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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