Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize