Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
