Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
this will be a night to untag.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
