Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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