The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize