She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
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He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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