Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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