the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I smell like Dick and happiness
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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