I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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