and you said cock pushups were impossible
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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