Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize