I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
