i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
