this just has baby written all over it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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