At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize