Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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