Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
