you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
