Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
