I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
