So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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