he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
