Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
