So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
