remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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