Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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