I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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