you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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