So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
