It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
