She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Screwed.edu
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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