You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
