That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
