Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
