So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
you never un-have a 4some
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
