I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
