i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
