I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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