you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
