I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
