Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
