Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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