those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
