remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
