I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
