So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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