oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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