He is an equal opportunity slut.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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