what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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