hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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