I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
porn star boner night. come get it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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