So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
