So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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